Friend: "Sometimes people say things to me about you."
Me: "That's not my problem."
Friend: "But it is my problem, because I defend you."
Those weren't the exact words of the conversation, but that was the essence of it. As much as I appreciate my friend defending me, he didn't have to. I don't feel the need to defend myself from people who say things about me behind my back. The reason I don't need to defend myself from them is because I know I already have power over them. I know that I already have power over them because they haven't said a word about it to my face.
The fallacy that shit-talkers believe is that a person's power lies in other people's opinions about them. What those people don't realize is that a person's power lies not in the opinion's of others, but in their ability to speak their own truth. A person's power lies in their truth, and by hiding your truth from someone and talking behind their back, you are actually giving them power over you. By hiding your truth from someone, you are giving them power over you.
There is only one reason you talk shit about someone behind their back, and it's because you're too scared to say it to their face. You are too weak and cowardly and scared to raise the issue directly with the person. Maybe you fear the person's ideas. Maybe you fear their intellect. Maybe you fear their influence. Maybe you fear getting you ass kicked. Whatever you were afraid of, you were afraid of something, and you were too cowardly to face that fear by talking directly to the person you have an issue with.
A man who knows this, and lives in his truth, is invincible from such attacks. A person's power lies in their integrity, and every time you say something about someone that you wouldn't say to their face, you lose your integrity. Every time you lose your integrity, you lose power; your word means less and less until eventually it means nothing.
I know I have no right to hold a grudge against someone without first talking to them about it, and I know other people have no right to hold a grudge against me without talking to me first. Since these anonymous shit-talkers aren't man or woman enough to talk to me, their opinion means nothing. It's also a good indication that whatever they said is false, because if it was true they shouldn't have any problem saying it directly to me in front of everyone. In fact, that's a good rule to follow: don't say anything about someone that you wouldn't say directly to them in a room full of people. If you wouldn't say it to them in a room full of people, then you probably shouldn't say it at all because it was probably you who was wrong and not them.
If you can't speak your truth to someone, then they have power over you. So keep talking shit behind my back, minions. You're giving me power over all you, and I love having power - especially over weaklings, liars and cowards. You can keep talking shit and I will keep telling the truth to everyone, standing naked and beautiful for all the world to see.