Friday, January 18, 2019

Shirtless Running

"The tears are your ego breaking, not you."

That thought occurred to me today on my run.  It's funny because I was in a great mood.  I wasn't thinking about crying at all.  But there was that thought.  True as hell.  In all it's shining glory.  I love when God gives me gems like that.💎  I always say a quick gratitude prayer, and let them hang around as long as they want.  Then I let them go.  You can't hold on to them.  They're like birds.  If you hold them, they run your whole life.  Imagine going through your day with a fucking bird in your hand. 🤦‍♂️

Thankfully, the only thing running my life is me.  Which is why I went running shirtless today.  It wasn't particularly warm out.  It was kind of chilly, actually.  There was still some mist in the air from the rains.  But I went running shirtless, because I could.  It's fucking liberating.  Especially when no one else is shirtless.  That's the best time, because then everyone is looking at you.  I know why cave men started wearing loin cloths - because if they didn't, they would have been standing around looking at each other's dicks all day.  If you don't believe me, try working out naked in front of the mirror and watch your dick bounce around like a rubber slinky.  Then, for a bonus, take a nice bath afterward and watch your dick float up to the surface like a buoy.  Fascinating.

But running shirtless is just a great feeling.  Especially when you have a mullet, like me, because you can feel your mullet flowing behind you in the wind.  It's beautiful.  Today, I put a dab of Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen on my nose before I went out, and the whole run smelled like coconuts and pineapples and the beach and piña coladas.  Fucking brilliant.

On the way back to my house, I ran into my coworker.  He was walking the opposite direction down my street.  He must have thought, "Holy shit.  Is that Eddie running down the street shirtless?"  Yes, that's exactly what that was.  And it was glorious. 🌞

Running with your shirt off is like an inside joke between you and the Universe.  "Everyone else put on all of their clothes today, and I only put on half of mine.  HA!"

Females know about shirtless running too.   I see women in sports bras all the time.  They know what the fuck is up.  Sports bras, spandex pants and cute pair of sneakers.  Bullseye. 🎯

Man or woman - it doesn't matter - sexy motherfuckers run with their shirts off.  Want to know why?  Try it and find out. ✌❤



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