Wednesday, January 16, 2019

BOOK EXCERPT - This One Time In Amsterdam

Today is Monday and I am so happy that I got to spend it the way that I did. Writing, training, meditating, reading, and soon I will be bartending. I get to do all of these things. It's like a goddamn holiday. Except this is my every day. This is a dream come true. I am living my dream. I don’t have money, but I do what I want, and I say what I want. Society can’t kick me out, because I’m already out. I can tell the most outrageous stories and not get fired from my job. Like one time I was in Amsterdam and I went for a late night walk through the Red Light District. I was blasted; we'd been smoking hash and drinking heavily. I didn’t smoke very often in those days, so a little bit went a long way.

My friends had gone to bed. I don’t remember why I decided to go out. Maybe I wasn’t tired. Maybe I was looking for adventure. Maybe I was just horny. I don’t know, but I went out. The high-class broads on the main strip of the Red Light District were out of my price range, so I went down a shady side street. I was walking by the windows and one of the girls came to the door and asked me what I want. Something seemed weird about the way she talked, but I said I wanted her to give me head. She spoke some English, enough to ask where I was from. She told me all the places she traveled. She had traveled a lot. A real gypsy. I began to suspect that she wasn’t born a woman, but I didn’t ask. I was too embarrassed. I was already inside the room with the curtain drawn. I was already committed. I could have left, but I didn’t. Instead I had her suck me off into a condom. I either didn’t have the nerve to walk away, or I was too intoxicated to care. I will never know for sure whether she was a woman or not. The next morning I woke up feeling guilty. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I don’t particularly regret it either. At this point, I don’t really care. It happened. So what.